Currently Californication By Red Hot Chili Peppers see related

These days, I only post things on here if I'm feeling some strong emotion that I need to get off my chest or if I am procrastinating.  I have a lot of homework now, so take a guess which this post is.  :)

It feels like this semester is moving very quickly.  I honestly have no idea how I feel about that.  My sense of panic is going away, because things are falling into place (with the exception of the grad school thing, but I'm not concerning myself with that anymore... if it happens this fall, it happens, and if not, then it will next year).  I just kind of feel like I don't have time for things.  I am toying around with the idea of coming back here/staying here in canton for awhile.  We'll see, though.  The good thing is that I would have roomies, because I would probably get some sort of townhouse or apartment with Kali and Julie, and that would be fun times.

What else is going on?

Suddenly everybody is getting married, which is fun, because I get to be in weddings.  I'm excited for all the stuff with bethany's wedding at the end of the summer/beginning of september.  And I don't know when Emily's is, but I'm sure that will be super fun, too.  Yay for friends and weddings. :)

I did my last ever Singing Valentines last Thursday.  That was fun.  Mike, Jayne, Hannah, and Nate were in my group and we had some good times.  Like the lady at 9 AM that sobbed hysterically.  Or Sarah, who looked super pissed to get a singing v from Matt.  Or the old couple who were ridiculously confused until they figured out that the sender was Dave, the nice man who comes over to give them showers 3 times a week and that we weren't trying to ask them for money for the university.  Ha.

I started my Internship at Concorde Kids today.  It's a pediatric PT/OT/ST center on Whipple, and it's awesome.  The facility is pretty amazing, the people I'm working with are very nice, and the kids are adorable.  It's like a dream job for me.  I am exhausted today, though, so devoting every free hour before 6:00 on M-Th. from now pretty much until graduation (in order to get in 90 hours) is going to take some getting used to.  At least it's enjoyable, though.  :)

OK, I should go do homework now.  Orrr get ready to go watch American Idol.  Ha.

Don't pay any attention to this.  I just need to vent for a minute...

I feel so frustrated most of the time.  Maybe not even most.  But a lot.  Like, there are a lot of times when I come to my empty room and find myself crying for no apparent reason and just really wanting someone to talk to.  But if someone's around I feel better and find that I can't even pinpoint what's wrong when given the opportunity.  I just have this reoccuring feeling of ridiculously intense of loneliness.  And I don't know how to fix it. 

Added onto that, I feel like I'm so mediocre lately.  Like I can't find it within me to work up to my potential.  One would think that this realization would be all the motivation I need (especially when you consider the fact that life as I know it is coming to a close and I need to figure out what I'm doing fast), but I can't.  It's not that I don't want to, because I do.  Even the thought of graduation isn't so scary to me anymore, aside from the fact that I don't know what will come next.  Because I feel like whatever happens has to feel better than this.  I'm sick of school. I'm sick of doing the same thing every day.  And I'm upset, because I wanted this semester to be so awesome.  And now all I want to do is go somewhere else.  It's so frustrating.  I used to be such an overachiever, but I'm just completely burnt out. 

I just want to fix it, but I don't know how.

So I went on a ski trip this weekend.  It was required for my snow sports class to go on this year's annual SAC ski trip to the Holiday Valley Resort in New York.  It was a pretty good time.  We left on Friday evening and got to Camp Mission Meadows (about an hour from the resort) that night.  We awakened ourselves ridiculously early on Saturday so that we could eat breakfast and leave the camp by 7:00, get to the resort by 8, and be on the slopes by 8:30. 

Around 10:30 that morning I made an unfortunate wrong turn down one of the slopes, landing myself on one that was above my skill level, causing me to gain such speed that I was unable to stop at the bottom, and instead launched myself over an orange fence, where I went on to use my face to break my fall, resulting in a ride on a snowmobile down to Ski Patrol and a pretty decent black eye.  Haha.  I was fine, though, and went back out after lunch and skiied the rest of the day and for an hour or 2 on Sunday, as well. 

This was by no means the most impressive injury.  One boy, Phil Yergin, broke his wrist Saturday afternoon in an unfortunate fall on his snowboard.  Ali, my RD, woke up on Sunday and realized that something was seriously wrong with her upper arm, after catching herself pretty hard on it the previous day.  As far as I know, they are still unsure as to whether it is broken, or if it is actually a rotator cuff injury.  Right before we left, Matt Arnold ended up with a sprained knee and ankle.  And after my van left, Chris Helland took a pretty nasty fall and hit his head really hard.  Apparently he temporarily lost his short term memory and was rushed to the hospital and everything.  So keep these people in your prayers. :)

The end.

Currently A Lesson in Romantics By Mayday Parade see related

So, as much as I was dreading coming home for break, it was a really good and really fast month.  I can't believe I'm already going back tomorrow.  I kind of wish break could be a bit longer.  Although, my mother is starting to drive me insane, but I feel like it's probably because she's in psycho mode since I'm going back to school tomorrow.  She's been walking around the house all day yelling at my dad for the dumbest things, like accidentally buying regular fritos instead of scoops, or telling her how to work her phone.  Oh boy...

Same story as every year, though, so I'm not surprised. 

What I was getting at, though, is that I don't really mind Toledo, as long as my friends are here (and as long as I don't have to live in my house for more than like a month at a time), and that I'd be ok with coming back here after graduation, as long as I'm doing something productive with my life. 

That being said, I do miss friends at school.  And I know I will miss friends here when I go back.  I wish I could create an alternate universe in which both worlds would collide...  that'd be neat. 

Mmmmmk time to go... do something.  Or eat something.  Or something.